It's a girl!!

Yes we are having another girl. We are so excited! I don't have time to write anything else though. I should say also that the ultrasound looked great. She is growing exactly like she should. It is so nice not to say it as in "It is kicking like crazy" any more. I always hated that.

What to write, what to write.

I can't seem to think of anything to write about. I am sure everyone is sick of me talking about my pregnancy. I know it seems like such a mormon thing to do. Well, I actually know non-mormons who talk about nothing but kids and pregnancy, if they happen to be pregnant so I know mormon women don't have a monopoly on talking unceasingly on those topics.

Honestly though, I just don't have all that much to write about. I guess I could come here and complain about some annoyance but I really just want to think positive thoughts right now. I am getting kind of sick of all the negativity I have been reading lately. Sometimes I just want to shake people and say "Lighten Up!!!" I even have to say that to myself sometimes. Luckily with the pregnancy(sorry) my PMS has disappeared so I don't have that PMS depression I usually get every month so my outlook has been a lot brighter lately. It's nice not feeling useless, paranoid, sad, angry, hysterical and negative for a whole week every month.And the migraines! Good riddance to those for 9 months too!!I wish that would disappear forever and not come back when my periods do. I guess I'll see then!!

So I am not sure when I will write again. Could be tomorrow, could be two days from now, or it could even be a week from now. I hope it's not too long. I really enjoy writing my thoughts.

Strange

Okay so I am going through this morning sickness thing. It's not fun and it's getting weird. Not only do I have an aversion to most food but I seem to have an aversion to the internet. Seriously, the thought of booting up the computer and coming online to post on my blog, reading and posting in the DAMU, checking my email and various other websites, has almost sent me running to the porcelain God. The thought is making me ill. Yet here I am posting. I figure I still have to eat even if food is gross, so I also still need to have my internet time. I am sure it's just the fact that I don't feel well and nothing is fun when you feel like shit. So maybe in that way it's not so weird. But then I remember when I was pregnant with my first, there were certain songs on the radio that made me ill. One that to this day I still can't listen too without feeling sick is that song by Pink "Get This Party Started" or something like that. There were a few other songs to but I like them now.

I also all of a sudden was very annoyed by a lady I worked with. A lady who had never bothered me before, in fact I liked her a lot before I got pregnant(with my first). Then when the morning sickness kicked in she really started bugging me. She couldn't say anything or do anything that I didn't roll my eyes and wish I could smack her. Luckily I hid it well. I can be a great actress when I want to be.

Anyway I just think it's interesting that for me, morning sickness(all-day sickness, who am I kidding) is more than just food aversions. Does this happen to other women too?

Sorry for another post on my pregnancy woes. Just roll your eyes and say "Not that boring pregnant lady shit again" I swear I don't blame anyone for thinking that!

WTF! (Warning: TMI)

No, not in regards to something astonishing I learned about Mormonism but in regards to my bloated belly!
At least I hope it's bloating and not me showing already at 7 weeks. I would be freaking HUGE by the time this pregnancy ended. I remember, vaguely, this happening the last two times but it has still caught me by surprise. My pants are getting tighter. I don't want to wear the maternity pants with the huge panel that covers your whole belly. When I am pregnant I can't stand for anything to be on my belly. I would always pull those panels down when I was at home only pulling them up again out in public. I am going to try and get some pants that either don't have a panel at all or have the panel that fits just under your belly. I don't think it will be that hard to find. I need some new shirts too. Oh fun I get to go shopping!!

Too Sad.

I am really too sad to think of anything to post about. My brother and SiL found out today that the IVF didn't work. My heart is breaking for them and I am very fearful of putting salt in their wounds with my surprise pregnancy. How unfair it must seem to them. My mom said that they are happy for me. I am sure a part of them is. I am sure it is hard for them to be happy about anything right now, especially my being pregnant. I still think that my news should be their news. I am happy to be pregnant but they deserve it more and I know they want it more.


Sometimes life just fucking sucks!

Beer

Okay, since I am pregnant and paranoid I will not have even a drop of alcohol until this pregnancy is over. And probably beyond that because I will be breastfeeding. My dilemma now is that I have 4 bottles of beer in the fridge and dh doesn't want them so I have no idea what to do with them. Anyone have any good recipes that use beer? I am not much of a cook but I don't want it to go to waste. If I had known I was going to get pregnant I would have drank them faster! Maybe had one big beer night. Oh well!

The only think I can think of making is beer pancakes. My grandpa used to make them for us when I was a kid. The problem is pancakes don't sound very appealing to me right now. I think I could make them once and then be sick of them.

I guess I can wash my hair with it. I have heard that beer is a good hair cleanser.

What other uses are there for beer, other than drinking it?

I'm a weeping mess!

Okay, usually I am a very emotional person. I laugh easily and I cry easily. When I am pregnant, believe it or not, I am even more of a basketcase. I have been tearing up at the damndest things today. Songs, TV shows, a list of gifts to give the woman in your life, practically everything.
I was standing at the sink rinsing off dishes to put in the dishwasher and I had "Untitled" by Simple Plan playing on the cd player. I just started crying as I stuck plates and glasses in the dishwasher. Yeah it kind of is a sad song and it has actually made me cry before but I am in a good mood today. Usually when I am in a good mood that's when I laugh easily. Damn these pregnancy hormones.
I don't want to be one of those women who can only talk about their pregnancies once they are pregnant. And if I had anything else to talk about I swear I would.

Sheesh!

I really want to write something. I just have no idea what to write. I could make this a "What I Did Today" type of post but I really didn't do much today. I have been really tired and so I have just cleaned a little and then sat on the couch reading. Not reading anything mindblowing or particularly intellectual, just a fluffy romantic murder mystery. My brain is just too tired to read anything thought provoking. Sometimes I just want brain candy. Okay most of the time lately. I see nothing wrong with that. I am sure that it won't be long until I am ready to read something with a little more meat to it. In the meantime I will just enjoy my Nora Roberts trash novel!

I could write about all the reasons I don't attend the mormon church anymore but I just don't feel like it. Sometimes days go by when I don't even think about it. Then my mom calls and tells me something like she is sending me the Ensign and I remember "Oh yeah, she still thinks I care." As well as the rest of my family. But them not being in my face, it is easy to just live my life as if I have never heard of the LDS Church. Well, I guess when I check in at the DAMU I am reminded of the church too but I mostly just go to those sites nowadays to check in with everyone. I don't really have much to add regarding church matters or annoyances. I just like keeping in touch with everyone.

I haven't told my parents or siblings I am pregnant yet. It's really bad timing. They would be so happy for us but my brother and his wife have been having trouble conceiving and they just did a round of IVF. A week ago Friday the eggs were implanted. I don't know how long it takes for results but if they got them and they weren't good(I haven't heard yet), then this really isn't the best time for me to call up and say "Hey we are pregnant with baby number 3" It just doesn't seem fair. They would make great parents. They would give a child the best life. How is it dh can get me pregnant just breathing on me and they are having so much trouble. And I know they want it more than we do. It just seems if I told them it would be like rubbing salt in their wounds.

Well, lookey there I did have something to write about. I wish I was more interesting. Heehee maybe I would be if I read something other than Nora Roberts books!

Paranoia has set in

Just like every other time I was preggo. Every twinge scares me into thinking I am miscarrying. Even though this wasn't "planned", I don't want to lose it. As soon as the shock wears off I know I will be so excited. I have wanted this for a long time. I have felt the old biological clock just a ticking away. It was getting extremely loud and I was trying so hard to ignore it. Looks like my body took matters into it's own hands!!

Hey, Home Alone is on. I love this movie. I remember when I was a kid wishing I would get the whole house to myself. I wouldn't have to share the remote, I could eat all the cookies, the bathroom would always be free, I could play my music as loud as I wanted. It seemed like such a great idea. Hey sometimes I still want that. Every once in awhile dh will give that to me. He will take the girls to the beach or to the park and I will stay at home by myself for several blissful hours.

So why the hell am I having another kid. If the ones I already have sometimes make me want to pull my hair out. Honestly, because there are way more good times than bad. I wouldn't be normal if I loved being a mom all the time because sometimes I do long for those childless days. Back when I could just get up and go without having to pack a bag full of diapers, wipies and snacks. I never even used to carry a purse now I have this satchel that I have to take everywhere. Back when I could listen to music with swear words in it and I didn't have to wait until after bedtime to watch the "good" R-rated movies. But most of the time I am so incredibly happy these wonderful, funny, interesting ,little girls are in my life. They are hard to stay mad at, all they have to do is start singing the alphabet song or dance around wildly to Green Day and I forget I am mad. It is so fun to watch them discover the world. Yeah, I can't wait to have another one. Now that it is happening(barring some sad tragedy) I am a little freaked out but excited all the same!