Wednesday, September 20, 2006
???????
I really don't know where I fit in now. I don't fit in with the mormon ladies and I don't fit in with the exmo ladies. I am too liberal for one group and not liberal enough for the other. I so want to fit in somewhere. I have been longing to hang out with like minded people for so long. I thought I had found somewhere that I could do that and I was having the best time there. I don't know now though. Everyone is wonderful and smart and funny and I used to think I was those things too. Now I am not so sure. I don't know what to do. Do I say something? I don't think I can do that without sounding like a whiny baby and also not without drawing unwanted attention. I like to be the happy go lucky one. I hate conflict. I just want to be everyone's friend. I don't want to feel like I constantly have to defend me and my life choices. I had enough of that in the church. I am disappointed because it doesn't seem like I will be accepted for who I am at my new place either, if I ever tried to assert my opinion on certain things anyway. It still seems to be all about labeling people. I just want to be accepted and liked. That's all I have ever wanted my whole life. I just wonder when it's going to happen!!
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1 comment:
No I am not offended. I just have this complex that stems from some back-stabbing friends from childhood and from not fitting in with a lot of the kids in my ward. So it's hard for me to trust others and even my own feelings sometimes. I can be a drama queen and I was PMSing when I wrote this post. But I would love some oatmeal cookies anyway! And thanks for everything you said. It really helps that complex shrink!
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