Seriously bored so I think I will vent a little!

It's Friday night. Dh is asleep. The kids are asleep. I am wide awake and so fucking bored! And in a swearing mood apparently.

I am not sure what I expected. I am married with kids. For me anyway, that means staying home a lot more than I did when I was single. Most of the time I don't mind but then there are days when I feel like if I don't get out of the damn house my head is going to explode. If it wasn't snowing so much I would just drive somewhere. I don't know where exactly but anywhere is better than home.

Is it terrible that sometimes I long for my single days when I carried a real purse, not a diaper bag? When I could leave the house on a whim without worrying if I had enough diapers, a change of clothes for the baby, the stroller, toys for the baby, ear plugs to block out the whining of the older two kids. When I could go out dancing from 10 at night until God knows when. Yep, I admit it, I sometimes miss my single days. You know what else I miss? Sex outside of marriage. There was something exciting about "doing it" when you weren't supposed to. Dh and I were little horn dogs! I still love our sex life but that "we aren't supposed to be doing this" excitement is gone and I kind of miss it.

Please don't get me wrong. I love my daughters and hubby more than anything. Sometimes they are the ONLY things that make me smile. I just sometimes feel like the mom and wife parts of me took over and the woman parts of me are lying dormant somewhere way back in my mind. I started wearing my contact lenses again and bought some new lipstick so I can start renewing my outward appearance. Once I am done nursing I will hit VS so I can get a sexy bra to wear instead of a "functional" bra. I also need to make time to get my hair cut and styled by a professional. Not by me when I decide to trim the split ends. I think I will be embarrassed when the stylist sees how I have butchered my hair but I am going to go to a salon anyway.

I need to work on my emotional well being too. I feel like I have been kicked in the head a lot in the past few weeks. It's amazing the kind of negativity you get from people you thought were your friends when they find out who you are voting for. I don't do that to people. I don't understand why anyone would vote for a couple of the people running but I don't go around degrading them and questioning their intelligience. I give people the benefit of the doubt. I figure that they have read something about their candidate that they liked and shared some viewpoints and that's why they are voting for them. I wish they would extend the same courtesy towards me. Instead I get the "Oh you must not know what he stands for, if you really listened to him you would see that he has no substance". Shut the fuck up! I don't vote for people without reading up on them to see what they are about and to see if that meshes with what I am about. I don't go eeny meeny miney moe. I have felt talked down to and it's really pissing me off. Just because I don't agree with you(a general you there) doesn't mean that I am not informed. Seriously why are people like that? I just don't get it.

Then there are some issues happening with one of my sisters. She is going through a divorce and so far it's not pretty. I feel so bad for her and wish I could be there in person to help support her but I am stuck all the way up here while she is down in Ewtah. I am so frustrated!

Okay, I think that's enough for now.

Venting is fun!! :)