I Did It!

I told my online TBM friends that I didn't believe in the church. I also told them I would be cutting back on my participation. I got, I don't know, 6 or 7 replies and that's it. So I am guessing that the majority are glad to see the evil apostate go. A couple of the replies even sounded gleeful "Oh take care and have fun with you family!" I think that one was excited to see me go in particular. Oh well, I just couldn't take it anymore. They are so extreme in their beliefs for the most part. Absolutely no gray area anywhere. They really didn't think for themselves a lot. I heard a lot of "well if the prophet doesn't do it, say it, see it or like it, then I won't either". Well ladies the prophet doesn't like to have sex with men. Your husbands are going to be very sad!
I tried to still fit in with them because I genuinely liked most of them. Sure they could be a little cheesy sometimes but hey I can be cheesy sometimes. It's okay with me. But they just don't welcome opinions that differ from their own even though they claim to. Anyone bringing a different opinion gets flogged. There have been a lot of angry reactions that have been over the top lately and it had just started to get old. Time to move on. They don't seem to care too much that I am gone with a couple of exceptions. I feel kind of sad though. I think I am going to miss them.
I don't regret fessing up to them though. It's nice not to have to pretend anymore. Too bad I can't get up the nerve to tell my family. I am not there yet. I just can't hurt them. I don't know if I will ever tell them. In this case I think not being totally honest will be a good thing. I care about them more than I do my own feelings. It is worth it to me to keep them happy then for me to stop living this double life. Maybe one day I can tell them. I just can't imagine it though.