I was just skimming through my journal and came to an entry from the beginning of November 2005. I was just trying to figure out what I believed and was sorting it out in my journal. I found this interesting little list:
Things I believe the church is right about:
1-God, Jesus and the Holy Ghost are all seperate beings.
2-Families can be forever.
3-No one is perfect but you have to repent
4-Joseph Smith did not write the BoM, he just translated it.
5-The bible= the Word of God
6-There is a living prophet.
That's it though. That's all I thought they were right about. I went on to say that I did think they were wrong about D&C, I called it one big personal opinion, women can't have the priesthood didn't understand why that had to be, the homophobia and that fucking marriage amendment though I didn't say fucking, I added that here. I didn't mention the WoW specifically but I did have that as well as polygamy in mind when I wrote about not believing the D&C was inspired. The BoA never came into play at all because frankly, I never even thought about that enough to wonder and I had never even heard about the papry(sp).
Anyway about the what I believe list, what's different now?
1- I am not sure what God or Jesus are like whether they are one or not. Not a clue. I still believe in them but I don't necessarily take the LDS version of it.
2-I still believe families are forever but not the way mormons describe it. I don't believe in the degrees of Glory and I don't believe you have to be married in the temple or even LDS to be with your family in heaven. And I certainly don't believe any woman will end up as one of many wives to one man.
3-I believe no one is perfect but I don't believe you have to repent. I believe we are here to experience life and make mistakes and that god will love us no matter what. As long as we are good and decent people.
4-I no longer believe Joseph Smith translated anything. I think he was a quack, a smart quack but a quack nonetheless. I think he was a terribly flawed human being who cheated on his wife and then thought up polygamy to cover it up. ETC............
5-I am not sure about the Bible. I don't think it's literal but I do think some of it was inspired. Mostly all the love and compassion taught by Jesus Christ.
6-I don't believe there is a living prophet right now. I can't sustain anyone. I can't sustain any GA's either. I think they may be nice men, some of them anyway, who may actually be kind, decent people but I don't believe they are any closer to God than I am or my dh is. And I definitely don't believe anyone of them are receiving revelation.
So yeah, I have changed a lot. As I read and discover new information about the LDS church past and present, I know even more that I can no longer stay in this church. I don't trust it as far as I can throw it. I don't believe it is any better or any more true than any other church. You can find their best qualities like charity, family, morals, and spirituality in practically every other church on the planet. The LDS church is not special.
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