Well, not to dinner but as we were making dinner tonight two missionaries showed up at our door. They had also stopped by a couple of days ago but dh wasn't home so I just chatted with them for a second as they stood out on the porch. It was a hot and humid day and they were sweating like mad. I felt so sorry for them. I mean couldn't they at least have a car during the summer months? Sheesh. Anyway I gave them some ice and then they invited us to church and left.
Well we didn't go to church. So they came again tonight. Dh was home this time and he's such a friendly guy he invited them in and then for like 45 minutes stood there talking to them about anything and everything but not about church stuff. He is really good about talking people's ear off about things so he kept the conversation away from church matters. Finally they had to go and they asked if they could pray. Dh said sure and they said a little prayer. I can't remember what was said in the prayer. Then they invited us again to go to church next week.
I want so badly to tell them I don't believe anymore and that dh isn't interested but they were so nice and fresh faced. I hate hurting people's feelings. I am sure they get a lot of rejection but it might be different coming from someone like me who is mormon, at least in name. Plus they remind me of my little brother. They are the same age. If my brother had went on a mission I would've wanted people to be kind to him. Maybe I am too big of a softie, I don't know.
So anyway, I just really hope they get busy and forget about us. That way I can be my passive aggressive self , conflict avoidant self. Ugh sometimes this is just so hard. Life was simpler when I semi believed(I never really had a testimony). Or was trying to believe. But now I am more free so I am thinking that is a good trade off.
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