General Conference is this weekend???

I am not watching it though! I am done with all of that. I used to hate having my whole weekend taken up with church stuff. I don't think I would have minded so much if I had ever gotten anything out of it. I just kept hearing the same old talk over and over again.
-We are living in the last days, the world is becoming increasingly wicked, get your food storage set up, you're gonna need it soon!
-The priesthood is important so sustain it in your home and help your husbands and sons be good priesthood holders. And women, just because we don't let you have the priesthood for whatever reason that doesn't make sense, you are still valued daughters of God with just as important of a job raising the kids, providing for their spiritual well-being and making your husband dinner and ironing his white shirts and making sure his razor works so he can shave off that pesky facial hair!!
-Pay your tithing, we need a new mall, I mean, we need to build new temples and help the needy!
-Dress morally-No tank tops, bikinis, multiple piercings, facial hair, short shorts and skirts, no colored dress shirts, no tattoos, don't wear too much make-up, but do wear a little, we want our women to look nice, keep your g's on. Sister's notice a lot more of these rules have to do with you, and that is because we think our men aren't strong enough to resist those bare shoulders and upper thighs and deep cleavage and we know the only reason you want multiple piercings and tattoos is because Satan tells you they are cool.
-Homosexuality is evil and should not be tolerated, but be nice to them.(ICK) Don't committ adultery(Ok that's a good one), be morally clean!!

Oh and in between those are all the fun little anectdotes that illustrate why all of these talks are so important and dead on.
Boy am I glad I am missing that. I slept in, went shopping, got some new shirts one of which was a tank top, ate pizza, and now I get to bask in the glow of my fun day with my family.
Tomorrow there will be more General Conference. I will be at the park spending quality time with my children, not watching the boob tube!!!